


Their Rosebud Child

by brainless_fryingpan



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Post-Book: Carry On, Simon and Baz adopt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2018-10-20 20:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10670658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainless_fryingpan/pseuds/brainless_fryingpan
Summary: Simon decides he wants to have a real family, but babies are a lot more work than he realized, and life doesn’t stop for kids. Fairly fluffy with only traces of angst in a Post-carry on world where Simon and Baz get and raise their daughter alongside Penelope.





	1. Of course they were watching Doctor who

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first fic-yay... Um idk if this is actually important but in my version Penny and micah are broken up (but still friendly)- and Agatha is definitly ace... Oh also I use "Numpty" as a pretty common insult... Anyways I hope you like it!!! Also i think I might have stolen the opening scene from one prompt or another so... credit where credit is due.

Simon

I’ve always wanted kids, for as long as I can remember. Penny might call it a societal convention we are brainwashed into, the idea of children as a requirement to feel fulfilled in life and whatnot, but for me it’s always been more than that. Growing up in care, I never had a proper family. Some of the kids would make up gangs and take blood oaths and pretend like they were, but then one of them would get transferred, or adopted or age out and end up on the streets. I want a family. The whole shebang. I want to wake up in the middle of the night to comfort my baby, to go to parent’s night at school, have terrible fights over what my teenager is wearing. And I want Baz to be beside me the whole time.

Baz

Snow and I are having a Doctor Who marathon when he first mentions it. It’s actually a decent show, and we’re watching the episode where Amy just gave birth at Demon’s run. Of course the doctor and Rory have shown up to save them and right now there’s a bunch of kissing and crying on screen. “We should do that”. Simon blurts out. “Do what Snow, snog?” I respond sarcastically. “I’m pretty sure we’ve got that covered”. With a small snort I pull him closer, but he resists, sitting up straight to look me in the eye. “Baz- Do you think-maybe- You’d like- I mean I know- and you can forget about it if you want…” Crowley, is this going where I think it is? “... But do you think we might have kids?” Snow flushes as red as his wings and casts his gaze downward. “Simon…” I say, treading carefully. “ You’ve never mentioned this before. Why now?”

“Amy and Rory are our age” He points out. “Brilliant deduction Snow, but what does a TV show have to do with anything?” I say. “It just made me realize that we’re not so young anymore- I mean I know we’re still young- but it made me realize we don’t need to keep waiting, you know? That we can start our own family-for real.” He breaks out into a dreamy grin, his eyes sparkling as he says that last bit. “Well in that case” I concede. “We’d better make room for a nursery.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Simon's entire internal monologue happened during that episode of Doctor who.


	2. Will you Carry My Baby?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon asks Penny to carry the baby... Because reasons.

Penelope

I go out for one night and my numpties of housemates decide that they’re having a baby. I love Simon, I really do, but he is as oblivious and as clumsy as they come, and he’d probably spear the child to death with his tail trying to figure out how to stop the crying. Baz could manage, but I find it hard to see him actually caring about some ankle-biter. That’s not what surprised me the most though. I always figured they would end up with a couple of tots. The startling part of this endeavor was their actual child-bearing plan. Namely, me.

“Simon, how many times do I have to tell you that it is not every woman's dream to have children? Forget the fact that I still believe the pair of you are too young to be parents, do you realize the enormity of what you just asked me? Carrying your baby for 9 months, going through morning sickness, cramps, headaches...And that’s during the pregnancy. Never mind the pain of labor, the fact that I could die if complications arise, the stretchmarks or losing off the baby weight… I could develop a life threatening allergy- Have you even considered any of that?” I look up from my rant to see Simon’s face downcast and ashen.  “I-I’m sorry Penny.” I probably shouldn't have mentioned the whole death thing. Even the idea of someone else he loves dying because of something he’s done is too much for him. “ I just thought maybe-since you’ll basically already be the mum and well I could never ask Agatha, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should never have dragged you into this... Or Baz.” He sais. Then he turns and runs from the room.

Simon

Stupid, Stupid, stupid. I should have known Penelope would never agree. Now I’ll never have a family. Baz will never adopt a child. The reason's simple, it was drilled into me for years at Watford. Magicians don’t give up their children. There are no magickal orphans for us to adopt, and Baz is much too elitist to accept a Normal into our home. I’ll be fine. I have Baz, why should I need a kid too? I’m just being selfish.

Baz

“Snow, would you be so kind as to get the hell out of that bathroom and explain to us why the prospect of adoption brings you to tears?” I honestly don’t understand what’s gotten into the numpty. He was so excited about the prospect of a child, and now he’s upset because it won’t be biologically his? Seems a bit shallow, especially considering it was never even an option for me, what with the vampirism and all.

Snow peeks his face out the bathroom door, eyes still red. “We can’t adopt.” He says it as though it were obvious. “And may I ask why the hell not?” Anger drips through my voice as I say it. “You don’t want to.” His reply confuses me. Snow takes a deep breath, and continues. “If we adopt a child, it will be a Normal. You won’t be able to teach them elocution, or sign them up for Watford, they’ll never go to watford…” Simon wells up again and I can see the tears in his eyes, but he goes on. “Your family will never talk to you again, It will wreck your social standing at the club… We can’t adopt.”

Bunce and I stare at each other, then him. “ Snow,” I begin, “You’re half a Normal yourself. Do you really think I’d give up something as big as a child because they weren’t magickal?” He looks at me, wide-eyed.”But… your family” “Will get over it” I say firmly, and as I do he throws me into a fierce bear hug. “I love you” he whispers, with tears in his eyes. “Crowley Snow, you’d better learn some self control, I can only handle one crying baby at a time.” I say, but I’m grinning.

Tyrannus Basilton and Simon Oliver Snow-Pitch are expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I think Penny is (Or at least Simon thinks she is) powerful enough that even half Normal (which basically Simon considers himself, not knowing about his heritage) their kid would be magickally "adequate" (think Agatha) so although they wouldnt be at pitch level, they'd still be able to go to watford, and not be a complete embarrassment to the Pitch line. Idk you probably already figured that out.


	3. The Group Home

Simon

It’s been over a decade since I’ve been to McLennan’s “Group home for wayward children”. This is where I was dropped of as a baby, and where I grew up until the mage whisked me away to Watford. The last time I was here, I set the building on fire. Hopefully matron will forgive me.

The building has been completely rebuilt, just a ghost of the home I grew up in. Still, I find my way into the front office easily. Baz and Penny follow me in, both watching as if expecting me to burst into tears, maybe from memories? There's no chance of that though, even with this being my favourite home, the way Normals shied away from my magic kept me from developing close ties to any one place.

A woman only a few years older than me sits at the desk.“Can I help you?” She asks cheerfully. Baz nudges me forward. “My name is Simon Snow.” I say tentatively. “I grew up here and I was hoping that the matron might be willing to help me through the adoption process…” I pause and swallow lengthily, which I tend to do when I'm nervous.

“Simon Snow? You were here during the fire too, weren’t you? My name is Cass, we were in care at the same time!” I could only manage an “Um… yeah” in response. The name rung a bell, but I’d been at so many homes over the years the people had blended together.

Even so, Cass chatted on, explaining to me how she was in care at the same time as me and had started working here after aging out of the system, and finally took over last summer after the old matron retired. “But I’d be happy to help you through the process, if you’d like.” She added, glancing at each of us for approval. “As a matter of fact, I had a teenager come in just the other day looking for an arrangement like this one. If you’d like to meet her I’m sure something can be arranged…”

Simon

We met up with the teenager, Sam, and liked her well enough, so now we’re meeting with Cass several times a week. She talks us through all sorts of paperwork, and legalities. Baz and Penny always pay close attention, but I don’t see what salaries have to do with parenting abilities. From what I gather, we’ll pay Sam’s medical bills during the pregnancy, but it’ll be a closed adoption. I wonder if we’ll get to be there for the birth. We have 4 months to hash out the details, but I still can’t believe we get a baby at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter much it's just an in betweeny thing to keep the ball rolling but I think we (might) meet Cherry next chapter... so hold out?
> 
> Also thx for all the nice comments!


	4. Cherry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG HAVE A LITTLE TIDBIT TO TIDE YOU OVER. CHERRY'S HERE ALSO...

Simon

The months flew by, and I've been so caught up with preparing for the baby, I basically forgot the reality of what was coming. Baz and I are sitting in the hospital waiting room now. How long does it take to give birth? Sam didn't want us there during the labor, but she's got her girlfriend and Penny so she should be fine. We’ve been waiting for hours though. I glance over at Baz. Even his normally calm demeanour is wearing thin. He looks like he’s about to say something when a nurse pops her head into the delivery room and says “Misters Simon and Baz Snow-Pitch?” We both jump from our seats and I grab Baz’s hand. I follow the nurse, holding Baz tight into the next stage of our lives.

Baz

Snow nearly cuts off my circulation dragging me into the delivery room. There’s a wild look in his eyes, excited and nervous. I'm about to lecture him on crushing people’s hands without permission when I see the baby.

“It's a girl.” The nurse announces. “For now at least” grins Sam’s girlfriend. Sam rolls her eyes, and offers the newborn for me to hold. Sam breathes a sigh of relief as I take the child, passing out almost the second it's in my arms. I start to panic at the squirmy thing, trying to remember everything I've read and learned about infants, but handing her back to the exhausted birth mother is hardly an option.

Looking down into my arms, I realize for the first time how tiny she is. She fits perfectly in the crook of my arm. I'm so absorbed in this dwarf of a being I don't even notice I switch languages. “Allo ma puce…” I whisper “ Allo ma Cherie.” My voice cracks on the last word, making it audible to the blundering idiot that is Simon Snow-Pitch.

“Cherry?” He asks. “You picked a name without asking me?” I nearly laugh out loud at his idiocy but he continues, breaking into an enormous grin. “ I love it! It's perfect, don't you think Penny?” Penny and I share a look. “It’s no worse than ‘Tyrannus’, at least.” She decides. Even Sams girlfriend, cuddled beside the unconscious corpse of her significant other, gives a snort of approval.

“That settles it then!” Declares Simon. And he leaves to find a birth certificate namer of some sort, without so much as pausing to think of middle names or family traditions, or even honouring the being that birthed out child.  
My hot headed saviour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K so in case u didn't get it Sams girlfriend is trans....
> 
> Also Translation  
> Allo ma puce- hello my (sweet?)  
> French pet name.  
> Allo ma CHERIE - hello my DEAR.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every parent needs a nickname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG SCHOOL IS STRESSING ME OUT DUDES.

Chapter 5

Penny 

It took a full week for us to find a time when we were all free and Cherry was asleep. We were sitting at our kitchen table with coffees and cherry scones all around when I finally brought up the question. “So have you two decided what your names will be? ” I said. “I’m pretty sure we figured that out at the wedding, Bunce.” Baz says sarcastically. I shoot him an annoyed glare, and Simon answers in his place. “I kinda just figured we’d both go by dad?” 

“I mean Penny-obviously Cherry’ll call you mum…” “Wait-what?” I said, confused. “I mean she’s your kid, shouldn’t I go by auntie or something?” “Bunce” Baz said, in his usual tired tone, “You’ve already offered to help us raise her. You live in the same house as us. You were there when she was born. She’ll call you mum.” 

I couldn’t really argue with that logic. “You two still need nicknames though” I pointed out. We sat in silence for a second, thinking. “Could I have something kinda gender neutral?” Simon asked, quietly. 

I suggested Mapa, and Pada for Baz. Simon shortened it to Mop and Pad. As happy as I was with our new names though, I couldn’t help but notice the weird looks Baz was giving Simon. That bastard better not hurt my best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please nobody hate on Mop and Pad those are like my favourite parental names and my total headcanons for Simon and Baz.


	6. Chapter 6

Simon

We were in bed that night when Baz brought it up. “Snow.” I groaned a bit. I always fall asleep before he does, and I was almost completely out when he started the conversation. “Why Mapa?” 

I thought for a second. “When I was the chosen one, the mage had all these expectations for me to live up to. Fight the villains, save Magick, marry Agatha, and just be a manly man. When I kissed you, that was the first time I ever let myself out of that mold. Ever. And with working on stuff in therapy, I’m starting to let myself out of it? And that when I do I feel comfortable and me and I don’t know how to explain it.” “Get to the bottom line Snow.” “Well I don’t think I’m completely binary? I’ve been playing around with the label demiboy cause it’s kinda comfortable and CROWLEY BAZ IM SO SORRY” I start panicking slightly when Baz puts his hand on my shoulder. “Pronouns?” “Wh-you-He or They.” “Believe it or not I can handle calling you Mapa, Snow. So don’t fucking apologize for asking for your proper pronouns.” And then he kisses me.


End file.
